The Ballad of John Simons

by Jack Simons

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All songs composed and performed by Jack Simons

Produced, recorded, mixed, and edited by Jack Simons

Drum programming by Jack Simons

Tracks 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, and 9 recorded in Queens, NY, March 2015

Tracks 5 and 6 recorded in Ithaca, NY, May 2013 (overdubs in Queens, March 2015)

Track 8 recorded at Funisound Studios, March 2013 (overdubs in Queens, March 2015)

Album art by Darien Scott Shulman

...Run it again.


released April 6, 2015



all rights reserved


Jack Simons New York, New York

"This? This is the Bawdy-o-Werk... THUS FAR..."

All records available for free download here on Bandcamp

Profile picture courtesy of Darien Scott Shulman

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Track Name: Tower Turning
If I could I would tell you
Just how much you mean
I'm a tower turning upside down
But I'm swallowing myself with sound
You're in love with your world

There's no wrong header
In your newsletter

If our minds collide and make sandwich
We could paint this land in no time
Luckily there's a pilot to land this
But that's not what causes the crime

It's your crystal face anticipates this
Superman-ish force of light in my hand

Your world is round and round
Dug deep into the ground

(Think it out! / c'mon blink it out)
If my mind wasn't bound in cast
We'd be frolicking through the grass
Just another house passing by
Not a miracle-laden lie

In the way but never indulgent
Your image is embossed on my brain
It's your magic locks me in closets
Anesthetize the cyclical game
Track Name: Won't You Join Me in the Freak Parade?
Kathy found the slimy stench
Of convention was taking her under
Photograph the sludge that hovered above

All around the magic wheel
An amalgam of smiles and thunder
But all around the magic wheel I'm in love

Something caught your eye
Thirty-five miles high
And it's falling down down down

Definition of her world
Is defined by the creatures around her
But Kathy knows reality is up high

Kathy handed me the pie
And I sliced it and served it to lovers
Stood upon a trampoline in the sky

This a dream I had
One that I want bad
And Kathy may think
I'm weird and creepy
If so I'll just keep on
Dreaming on

Won't you join me in the freak parade?
Together we can make it through all this
And live in circus tent of the solace

I have a creepy mustache
You have a sinking eyelash
And we both have an incredible rash

Invite all of your brothers sisters I
All the teachers and patient listeners I
(And it will)

Stop giving me motion sickness
In time
Track Name: Already Made Up
Already made up

A brown-eyed smile beyond overpass
And I can teach you to leap and loiter
I sit and dream of the brick and mortar

Midnight's a miracle worker
And did you know that it's...

Your socks fell off I took them with me
And turned them into some ghostly puppets
And now you know what the source of love is

We built ourselves a new barn
They've printed out some report cards
To hand to the kids
I bought your new cat some yarn
You've found reality inside a pumpkin
Track Name: Eye on the Platypus
Eye on the platypus (I keep my)
Idiosyncrasies in its structure
Blow my mind

When your head's full of the cheesy slime
You're flying fast down a path of
Man-robot design
Your welcome sign
Doesn't welcome those who break the grind

Now you are loving this wondrous thing
Learning to love its light
Wish it played on everything

It is part mammal bird reptile fish
Platypus breaks the grind
From day one to line finish
Grant you one wish
Could it be a hat of licorice?

In their fits of indecision
Humans opted to sing along
Legend of devious platypus
Lives on-and-on forever
In my song
Track Name: We Know Nothing
Peace of mind
Putting me to sleep
In my life
I can't tell you I am wrong

In a lifetime
No one else is here
You can't live away you're near
And if you know
I'm not the one to tell you how

Please sit down
Standing makes me weak
In my knees
I am fainting to the ground

Happy Birthday
Happy New Year's Eve
It's on me
We can sit here in our crowns
And maybe there's a place
Where you can leak it all

Stephen and my friends
We went to the bar
Stephen stands high at six foot tall
Guess we just have to sit around and wait

Cause we know nothing
(Please sit down)
Track Name: Tunnel of Warmth
The tunnel of warmth will set you free
It's warm enough for you and me
Take your time there's nowhere left to run

Alex Mason and Audrey Burke
Will finish doing all their work
And walk into the tunnel of the sun

You've got climb inside the tunnel

(sneaky / subliminal)
The tunnel of warmth will set you free
If you really know where your heart must be!
Track Name: Angie
Angie came to stay
Picking up her cat and laughing
Tap-dance concrete floor

She's a special girl
Head is swelling bouncing with the
Thought of maple swirl

And if she knew of all her plowers she could
Pave this world
She will turn water into wine and back again

And if she says she has her books in order
Flags unfurl
Making it all too easy wait to crack a grin

Angie made her bed
Flowers adorn monstrous pillows
Cozy not too thin

Cats inside her den
Purrs amongst the plates of smiling
Fish swum through the door
Track Name: Read My Mind
I go shopping at the zoo
And look for you
I'm not waiting any longer now

When your face is (in) front of mine
I don't know why
Can't tell if you're real to me

Taking you away somewhere
I can't tell if this is fair
Why can't we stay in your room?
Let me in your old brand new

And I can't tell tonight

Read my mind
(Can you believe it please? / I'm not the only one)

*snork* (love ya Frank Zappa)

Crooked is my sense of time
And I spill over
And take the time to talk to you now

Like the time I went to school
And blew my mind
I'm not talking now for reason's rushed

Take these shoes they're all brand new
Walk around and break them in

I've been sitting here for so long
I don't know why
You've been waiting there for so long

I can't tell if I am wrong
If you are right
Take my hand and I will say why

I can stay inside a long time
I can't say "hi"